Cut, Arrange, Deliver…

 

 It seems ironic that the most beautiful palette of flowers I’ve worked with yet, came yesterday with one of the hardest days I’ve dealt with yet. So hard in fact, that I was sobbing all last night. Not just teary eyed, but Eat, Pray, Love sobbing (the book my friend, K2, says “Every American woman is reading”). I think she’s right. I just read it last week on a flight back from Anchorage. While we were waiting to board, an adorable, white-haired woman saw the book in my lap and said “That’s a good book.” Sobbing, not because of my marriage, but centered around what this whole experience is about – keeping your spirit with the day job. Let’s just say I capsized yesterday, big time.

I had to wait for the tears to stop until I could start arranging, which put me at around 4:30am. I got out of bed, my beloved dog padding after me. He slept right by me as I got to play with my “palette” as I always think of the flowers. As I sat in the dark arranging, my dog sacked out, a moth the size of a humming bird banging at the light above and my mind banging around with my latest capsizing.

There’s something very peaceful about being awake while most people are sleeping. It feels sacred in a way. So as I arranged, enjoying the color and form of each individual arrangement, my mind began to calm down with my body. The moon was a beautiful sliver bright in the dark morning sky. Several hours later, as the sun came up over the mountains, my trusty co-pilot and I were ready for the first delivery.

Driving to Studio City, I thought of the beauty and power of simply exhaling. Jack Kornfield does great exhales during his lectures and tapes. I feel relief just listening to him exhale. And then there’s Joan Darling, my former acting coach who always had us do deep exhaling and releasing before going up on stage. Just being in nature is relaxing. And I thought “Even if that’s all these flowers give someone today; just an excuse to breathe easier, it’s worth it.”

This first drop off is actually at the request of a friend. I’ve met two of my closest friends through walking my dog. As K and I were walking in Studio City the other day she turned to me and said “You should do a balloon for that house.” Now, I knew what she meant when she said “Do a balloon” and that tickled me to no end that her brain, filled with everything going on in an incredibly busy time, found ”balloon” to be the best word to put forward. I knew what she meant. She continued “There’s so gracious about all of the dogs walking along in this area.”

So to the family or person who found a bunch of flowers right next to their morning paper today, thank you for everything you do in welcoming dogs and people who walk along your path.

And to the other people who got their bouquets today, half of whom were delivered by my supportive and very loving husband; to the woman sitting on her porch who my kept telling my husband ”You must have the wrong address!”, to the woman working security at Kaiser Permanente, and to the woman walking out on her brick steps this morning, may you all breathe easier, exhale and enjoy your balloons.